Mental Stress

I am realizing now how much I went through these past four to five years.  The pain I was having due to the endometriosis and adenomyosis, was terrible.  It affected me in so many ways. It reduced my quality of life to the point that I had to leave my job.  I wasn't able to get together with friends. I alienated people that I truly cared about because I just didn't have patience for anything or anyone. I would overreact to so many things without realizing it.  I did not know how to handle my illness.
An interesting point has come up though. When I think back to those years, I realize I remember very few specifics. For example, I was a teacher, but I don't remember my peers names. I can't remember my students names.  Everything is a big blur to me right, when I think back in retrospect.
The mind is an amazing thing. It can shut down when you are at peaks of stress. It does this to protect you.  The aftermath of this however, is very frightening.
I feel as though I floated through those days.  I got through them every day, just to get them over with.
The fact is, I really liked teaching. The students for the most part were very sweet children. I loved to make things interesting and grade papers and give advice.  I loved when a student came up to me to tell me their troubles.  Maybe there was something I could say to them that would make them feel better.  Teaching was the best time of my life.  Amazing that I can remember so little of it.
The truth is, that I was not at my best when I was a teacher. I feel like I need to hit a reset button.  I left my teaching position due to illness only after teaching summer school and one semester. I worked very hard to get that job, but endometriosis had other plans for me.
The endometriosis was planning on taking my life.  I am fortunate to have finally found wonderful doctors.  The endometriosis traveled to my liver, and could have destroyed it.  What a bitch she is! She's out of my body now, and I plan to keep it that way.  I plan to reclaim my life.
To anyone that I truly don't remember, I apologize.  That period of my life is a huge blur, due to the high levels of stress I was under. 
I can't wait to go back to the life I was meant to live.  My primary doctor told me I would feel better after the surgery. He was right.
He also told me I would feel even better next year!  I am sure he is right about that as well.
Mental stress put my mind on defense mode, so that I would not be traumatized by all that I had to endure.  It is fine. I will not however, allow that to stop me forever.